Real Friends with the Poor
December feels a bit different when you're in Louisiana, running around in sandals, and enjoying an outdoor fun day with missionaries from around the world who have returned for the Year In Review retreat. I'm trying to enjoy every moment of my last days here at Big Woods (the times when mosquitoes are biting excepted). Amid the busyness of this week, meeting new people, getting to know teammates, going on a retreat, and preparing for our commissioning Mass and the trip back to Ohio, I wanted to take a few moments to offer a short reflection from my experience in Mexico last month.
One of the exhortations we've received in our training with Family Missions Company is to make real friends with the poor. This was not something I had really heard about or thought of previously. I tucked this piece of information into the back of my head and figured I would learn how to put it into practice when I arrived at my mission post in a few months.
After we had been in Mexico for a couple of days, one of our missionary leaders, Sheila, told me about a woman who lived in town. Sheila referred to her as "my friend Francisca." She proceeded to tell me about Francisca and the difficult life that she had. She said that Francisca was coming by later that day so that one of the nurses could give her daughter a shot, and that we should gather some leftovers from that day's lunch to help feed her and her hungry children.
Later that day I met Francisca. She was a kind and reserved woman, but she had a sadness about her. Clearly she carried a burden of suffering that I could never fully understand. Her husband would come and go as he pleased, often leaving her and the children with no money and nothing to eat.
I recalled how Sheila had called Francisca her friend. She didn't say "this woman in town" or "this person that the missionaries help." This lady—a child of God, a sister in Christ—was her friend. As a missionary Sheila broke through cultural and economic divisions, she pushed aside the societal norms of friendship, and she made real friends with the people she served.
A couple of weeks later, I was serving alongside a short-term mission trip at another post in Mexico. As we made repairs on a home, I spent some time with Marta, whose husband Jose could no longer work as a police officer due to an amputation. They struggled to make ends meet, not having workers' comp or unemployment to collect. Their home needed a lot of work, so we tried to accomplish some projects while we had extra help. Marta was cold, so I gave her my fleece hoodie, knowing that I had other warm clothes waiting for me at home.
I found myself overwhelmed with poverty on many levels. I saw that material, educational, and spiritual poverty cannot be eliminated by money alone. The cycles, the patterns, and the institutional corruption are deeper than material aid can reach. The first day we spent with this family was hard for me, as I observed the problems and questioned how we could even begin to solve them. The few material things we offered could never be enough.
Over the next few days, as I spent more time with Marta and her family, I came to realize that though we were able to do a few tasks to help them materially, perhaps the most important thing we did was be present to them. We saw and loved Christ in them. We upheld their dignity by letting them experience that they are worthy of our time.
Sheila's example came back to me. I am not called to solve all the problems of the poor but to be a friend to them. I may never be able to pull someone out of the cycle of poverty, but I can accompany them as a friend, bring them the light of Christ, and do little things to assist them in their need.
I didn't have more than a few days to develop a deeper relationship with my new friend Marta, but I know that that I will have many more opportunities like that as I head to my new mission in Peru next month. Even when I am overwhelmed with all the needs that surround me, I can cultivate a friendship, which is worth more than all the gold in the world.
One of the exhortations we've received in our training with Family Missions Company is to make real friends with the poor. This was not something I had really heard about or thought of previously. I tucked this piece of information into the back of my head and figured I would learn how to put it into practice when I arrived at my mission post in a few months.
After we had been in Mexico for a couple of days, one of our missionary leaders, Sheila, told me about a woman who lived in town. Sheila referred to her as "my friend Francisca." She proceeded to tell me about Francisca and the difficult life that she had. She said that Francisca was coming by later that day so that one of the nurses could give her daughter a shot, and that we should gather some leftovers from that day's lunch to help feed her and her hungry children.
Later that day I met Francisca. She was a kind and reserved woman, but she had a sadness about her. Clearly she carried a burden of suffering that I could never fully understand. Her husband would come and go as he pleased, often leaving her and the children with no money and nothing to eat.
I recalled how Sheila had called Francisca her friend. She didn't say "this woman in town" or "this person that the missionaries help." This lady—a child of God, a sister in Christ—was her friend. As a missionary Sheila broke through cultural and economic divisions, she pushed aside the societal norms of friendship, and she made real friends with the people she served.
A couple of weeks later, I was serving alongside a short-term mission trip at another post in Mexico. As we made repairs on a home, I spent some time with Marta, whose husband Jose could no longer work as a police officer due to an amputation. They struggled to make ends meet, not having workers' comp or unemployment to collect. Their home needed a lot of work, so we tried to accomplish some projects while we had extra help. Marta was cold, so I gave her my fleece hoodie, knowing that I had other warm clothes waiting for me at home.
I found myself overwhelmed with poverty on many levels. I saw that material, educational, and spiritual poverty cannot be eliminated by money alone. The cycles, the patterns, and the institutional corruption are deeper than material aid can reach. The first day we spent with this family was hard for me, as I observed the problems and questioned how we could even begin to solve them. The few material things we offered could never be enough.
Over the next few days, as I spent more time with Marta and her family, I came to realize that though we were able to do a few tasks to help them materially, perhaps the most important thing we did was be present to them. We saw and loved Christ in them. We upheld their dignity by letting them experience that they are worthy of our time.
Sheila's example came back to me. I am not called to solve all the problems of the poor but to be a friend to them. I may never be able to pull someone out of the cycle of poverty, but I can accompany them as a friend, bring them the light of Christ, and do little things to assist them in their need.
I didn't have more than a few days to develop a deeper relationship with my new friend Marta, but I know that that I will have many more opportunities like that as I head to my new mission in Peru next month. Even when I am overwhelmed with all the needs that surround me, I can cultivate a friendship, which is worth more than all the gold in the world.
Saying goodbye to our new friend Marta
 Our work team of short-term and full-time missionaries with Jose and Marta | ||
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