Exactly What I Didn't Know I Needed

It was time to offer praise and thanksgiving during our morning prayer. That week I had just begun playing violin for praise and worship. Sarah, one of the FMC leaders, thanked God for giving us things we haven't even thought to ask for. She expressed that she never thought to ask for a violinist, but God sent one, and she had been blessed by my playing that morning.

Her words touched my heart and prompted me to reflect. God is indeed a good Father who gives us things we didn't even know we needed. Recently I experienced an earthly example of this spiritual truth.

As I was preparing for my two years of mission, I was trying to rid myself of possessions, not acquire more. However, there were a handful of items that I felt I needed to purchase before venturing out into the wild. I wanted to replace all my sandals with a sturdy pair of Birkenstocks. In my mind Birks were the ideal missionary shoe. After mentioning that to my mom, she told me to pick out a style so that she and my dad could buy them for me as a gift for my birthday, which had just passed.

My dad got wind of the offer and insisted that they instead buy me a pair of Bedrock sandals—a brand I had never heard of. I hesitated. In addition to not being a fan of sport sandals, I dislike shoes that are strapped to my feet and thus unable to be kicked off while sitting down. Furthermore, the available colors seemed either too bright or too boring for my taste and needs. (Why am I so picky sometimes?)

But I generally trust my dad’s judgment more than my own, and his outstanding review of these shoes was enough to convince me that I should give them a try. I chose a neutral color that I imagined would coordinate with whatever I might be wearing in the mission field.

Not twenty-four hours into my stay in Abbeville, Louisiana did I understand how impractical those leather European-made sandals would have been. Not only will sturdy waterproof footwear prove invaluable for my foreign travels—these shoes are more than ideal for the gravel, mud, and slick wooden planks I have to track through at Big Woods. They were even perfect for the day of hiking at a local park followed by joining families on the splash pad there. Being comfortable and airy, I'm not as tempted to kick them off my feet every time I sit down. In fact, these shoes are the next best thing to running around barefoot.

And they're simple and practical—which is the barometer I'm trying to use as I determine what items to take with me as I live among the poor and embrace Gospel poverty myself.

My earthly father knew better than I what I needed. I'm grateful that I trusted in him instead of stubbornly insisting on what I thought to be the right thing for me.

If you then...know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! (Matthew 7:11)

If my earthly father is a good gift giver, my Heavenly Father is a master one. But His gifts come in many forms, and they're not always easy to recognize. Sometimes I don't initially see what He gives as good for me.

The truth is that we can't always know what we need. We aren't able to see the big picture with our limited human vision. We are surprised when in retrospect we find that what we attempted to reject was in fact the best thing for us.

Even when we sincerely desire God's will, we place our own expectations and demands on how it plays out. This proves true time and again in the Christian life in general and in the missionary life in particular. We desire community, but we didn't want it come with this burden. We respond with joy to a foreign mission call, but we'd rather leave that cross out of the equation.

In a few months from now, our mission posts may (and probably will) look wildly different than the ones we conjured up in our imaginations. It may even be the location on the globe we had found least desirable. We may be tempted to rebel and say, "I didn't ask for this kind of missionary life." But I imagine Our Father in Heaven encouraging us to wait and see the good He has in store—in the way we least expected it.

The Father knows best what we need—be it a spiritual gift that enriches us or setback that challenges us, be it a joy to embrace or a burden to carry. But when we accept with trust all the gifts He sends us, we can expect to look back and see that it was good for us—and even better than what we would have arranged for ourselves. He is a good Father who, not content to give us simply what we think we need, is abundant in providing for us exactly what we didn't know we needed.